Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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