Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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