It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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