if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
