I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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