Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
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