i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I understand Curling. That high.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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