yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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