She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
