as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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