Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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