Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
