I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize