it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
