Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
