found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
