So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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