WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize