Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
