you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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