if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
