Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She bit a glass in half.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
