So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
