I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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