i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
