ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize