I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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