I feel great
I just peed on a car
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just high enough for therapy.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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