I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
