What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
