You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
