my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
