I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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