I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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