So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
