Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I love you.
Bad choice
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
