I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
