Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Come on in and take your pants off
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