thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I use my feet as sexual weapons
dude. I can hear the air.
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