I CAN MOONWALK!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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