I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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