I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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