how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
