Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
