eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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