I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
how drunk are you?
Several
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
