Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
