she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
