It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
