My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
