is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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