Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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