pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you had me at cake vodka
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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