Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
