it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
