I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
