This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
