k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
