I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize