Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
